Gemma's Gifts

Text Box:

Text Box:

Text Box: Upon receiving Gemma’s devastating diagnosis we have received many gifts. Some were from family and friends showing their outpouring of love and support and others were Gifts from God, some subtle, some profound, as He continues to shower us with His love and mercy. This page was intended to share with others what we have learned along the way and provide ideas for friends and family members who want to support a family with a similar diagnosis. General gifts Upon receiving Gemma’s diagnosis we noticed that some people didn’t know what to say or do. I think for some people, it may have been too difficult to say anything at all. Yet, there were others who touched our hearts in ways I can’t begin to describe. One of the greatest physical gifts we received from anybody, came in the mail in a small package, wrapped in pink with Gemma’s name on the envelope inside. The fact that somebody would acknowledge our critically ill pre-born child blew me away. I wept upon opening the envelope and unwrapping Gemma’s first gift. She had received a soft blankie with a little pink bunny inside a pocket. I sewed a little heart with “Gemma Forever Loved” embroired on top. I put it in the top of my closet waiting for her arrival. I showed it to anyone who came over who seemed the least bit interested. Her little blankie/bunny was neatly packed in the top of her suitcase and I made sure I had a friend get it out of the bag and I rubbed it against her little face. I still sleep with it today and there were tough days in the beginning when I would carry the little bunny in my purse and secretly hold onto it when the pain seemed unbearable. This sweet little bunny was given to us by Terry’s aunt, who watched her own grandson die shortly after his birth. I also take comfort in knowing that our little Gemma has many friends in Heaven. Other physical things that we received were picture frames, angel ornaments, flowers and many meals. We were really touched by ANYTHING that acknowledged our baby girl and our loss. Things with her name on them were especially meaningful. Letters, cards, and e-mails also lifted us up at moments that were too hard to bear alone. We had one person who accidentally got on our mass mailing list who wrote e-mails to Gemma! I printed each and everyone out and to this day cherish all of them. To know that Gemma’s short life had a profound impact on many people, made our struggles worth wile and the pain manageable. Gemma’s mystery friend showed up at her funeral and showered us with her continued prayers. We were so grateful for all of the people who showed up at her funeral, especially all of the children. Another amazing gift we received was a spiritual bouquet, which was presented to us at her funeral. It consisted of a folder with many sheets of paper. Each sheet had a bouquet on the top and a loving message from the family it was from along with amazing prayers and sacrifices that were offered up on our behalf. They included family rosaries, masses, prayers during mealtimes, entire families giving up desert, commitments to pray for us on the 8’th of every month for a year, and my favorite, children who gave up television and computer for us. The following is an excellent reference for anyone who has a friend or family member who either has received a similar diagnosis or lost a child. http://www.babysteps.com/rrmainframe.html The Gift of friendships One beautiful gift that I have received through the life of our baby Gemma was the gift of friendships. God has put incredible people in our lives, people who comfort us in our grief, allow us to talk about our little Gem and most importantly people who lead us closer to Him. Over the past few months many people have shared their strength with us when we have very little and they continue to share devotions and prayers that have helped them along the way. The Gift of the Blessed Mother One devotion in particular that has helped me immensely is the devotion to our Lady of Sorrows. One question that I always had once we got Gemma’s fatal diagnosis was, Where is the hope? How can good possibly come from the death of a child? I ask the Blessed Mother that question and the answer usually becomes quite clear. There is hope in suffering, there is love in suffering, and yes, there is joy in suffering. It is because Jesus died for us on the cross that we might have eternal life and who can think of greater suffering than the passion of Jesus Christ and the agony His Mother suffered in watching her son die the most horrendous death imaginable. God gave her all the immense graces necessary to make her the perfect Mother of God, but He also gave her all the graces, the tenderness, the love necessary to be our most perfect and loving Mother. No mother on earth ever loved a child as Our Blessed Lady loves us. Therefore, in all our troubles and sorrows, let us go to Our Blessed Lady with unbounded confidence. When I think about our experience with our little Gem, of watching her die in my arms, of her cold still body and the total sense of powerlessness that we had over this situation, I am comforted of images of our Blessed Mother. She has given me much comfort in a time of darkness. When I meditate upon Our Lady and her sorrows and I close my eyes, I see Our Lady of Grace and not the lifeless imperfect body of sick little girl. Through her, I believe we were given the time and the graces we so desperately wanted, and through her others will receive comfort as well. http://www.catholictradition.org/Mary/7sorrows.htm The Gift of the Saints Throughout this journey we implored the intercession of many Saints, as Catholics we believe in the intercession of Saints, that is we ask them to pray for us because they are so close to God. “Intercession of the saints is a Christian doctrine common to the non-Protestant churches (mainly the Catholic Church and Orthodox Churches). Intercessory prayer is a petition made to God on behalf of others. If a believer prays for her children or friends, his enemies or leaders, then the believer is interceding on behalf of another. The doctrine of saintly intercession goes back to the earliest church. The justification for calling upon a saint in prayer is that the saints are both close to God, because of their holiness, and accessible to humans.” Answers.com All alone, I believe I had a gut feeling that Gemma was destine to go to Heaven, although I still hoped and prayed for a miracle. Terry, who is the spiritual head of the household had much more faith than I did. He truly believed that Gemma was going to be completely healed and was bothered by my preoccupaton with her death. Nevertheless, we both prayed to various saints imploring their intercession, but ulimatly asked for God’s devine will to be done. At one point I would even joke about how we were going to the Vatican as witness of John Paul the Great’s miracle that is needed for his canonization. Ultimaly, I believe that they did intercede on our behalf and I believe very strongly that it was only because of Mother’s Mary’s merciful embrace Gemma was able to leave the operating room alive. After Gemma was handed to me and I saw how sick she really was, I told our baby girl, “It’s OK sweet Gemma, you can go to Heaven now, Mommy loves you baby Girl.” Not a single eye was dry. But even after I gave her permition, I still held my rosary tight in my hand begged for Our Blessed Mother that we may leave the room with her alive. Not only was she alive, but she was held by each and every person in the room. We gave our daughter the name Gemma after St. Gemma Galganti because of her relationship with her guardian angel. While just 11 weeks gestation, Juliana who was 3 at the time questioned me after I had received the Eucharist. She asked, "What did you just eat Mommy"? Being in prayer, I responded quickly "Jesus". She exclaimed, "Mommy you have a baby, an angel and Jesus all in your tummy!" "That's a crowded tummy Mommy!" Six weeks latter we learned that our baby girl would probably not live long. We knew we needed a miracle and a powerful Saint to name our baby girl after. We choose St. Gemma to be her patron Saint because of St. Gemma's relationship with her guardian angel and her miraculous healing of a terminal illness through the intercession of St. Gabriel of the Sorrowful Mother. “Gemma’s Guardian Angel would frequently appear to her. They would carry on a conversation the same way as if one were speaking to his best friend. Gemma’s purity and innocence must have drawn this Glorious Angel from Heaven to her side. Gemma and her Angel with his wings outstretched or kneeling beside her, would recite vocal prayers or Psalms alternately. When meditating on the Passion of Our Lord, her Angel would inspire her with the most sublime insights into this mystery. Her Guardian Angel once spoke to her regarding Christ’s Agonies: “Look at what Jesus has suffered for man. Consider one by one these Wounds. It is Love that has opened them all. See how execrable (horrible) sin is, since to expiate it, so much pain and so much love have been necessary.” Gemma soon began to grow ill. Gemma began a devotion to Venerable Gabriel Possenti of the Sorrowful Mother (Now St. Gabriel). A novena was suggested as the only chance for a cure. At midnight on February 23rd, 1899, she heard the rattling of a rosary and realized that Venerable Gabriel was appearing to her. He spoke to Gemma: “Do you wish to recover? Pray with faith every evening to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I will come to you until the Novena is ended, and will pray together to this Most Sacred Heart.” On the first Friday of March the Novena ended. The grace was granted; Gemma was cured. As she got up, those around her cried with joy. Yes, a miracle had taken place!” taken from: www.stgemma.com

Our Lady of Sorrows

St. Gemma